Thursday, March 18, 2010

Is There Anything Dumber Than A Tagger?

Public wall for grafitti tag exchange in SLImage by Overig via Flickr
In my opinion there is no lower form of urban moron than the protein deprived douchebags who refer to themselves as "taggers", unless you consider their even more pathetic offspring, the so-called "scratchiti artist".

Make no mistake, there is a huge difference between legitimate graffiti artists and these no talent crack babies, who feel that their meaningless squiggles emblazoned upon the private and public domain are something other than a declaration of their own impotence in the public realm.

When I was in Asia one thing particularly struck me about the populace. Pride was taken in the in the cleanliness of the most humble abode and business.

Some people didn't have much, but they took the utmost pride in keeping what they did have pristine. I saw this throughout Asia, and I also saw it in Ghana.

It is called pride of place, and I can assure you taggers that you will get it when you grow up and take some soul crushing job to pay off your car loan and mortgage.

And when you wake up one morning to find that someone has spraypainted GY2E on your front door or on the hood of your precious vehicle, you might understand. Feel free to come after me, I'll be waiting for you.

And know that if I catch you trashing someone's stuff, I'll be waiting for you, and you will be subjected to an experiment that determines the fatal dose of spraypaint.

Look, I'm sorry about your small penis, but I think that you should go back to your original plan of trying to kill your parents, and leave the rest of us alone.

The public domain is not yours alone, it belongs to all of us. Sadly though, in a society of adult children, the greater good yields to the needs of the childish.

While, unlike Stephen Harper, I don't advocate torture, I am willing to make an exception for taggers. You should all have your balls tied to a TTC streetcar and be given a tour of the city.


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