I had spent many years dreaming about taking a trip to Africa, and many months researching the journey. Yet, in the days before leaving, I lost all faith in the groundwork I had done and went into "disbelief mode".
As the reality drew near, my own disbelief increased. When I told people where I was going, and that I was traveling by myself more than a few looked at me as if I was Neil Armstrong.
This only made my own disbelief worse and I began to panic about everything that could go wrong, to the point that as I was driven to the airport, I could barely speak.
I had fully embraced scarcity and abandoned abundance. I had thrown away all the empowerment that I had earned through countless hours of research.
By the time I had been dropped off at the airport in Toronto, my dream trip of a lifetime was feeling more like a monster that I had to slay, something that I had to get through. I was letting disbelief and doubt rule the day, and I was paying a heavy price for my foolishness.
Once I cleared customs in Toronto, all of it melted away. I let go of the scarcity that I was clinging to and realized that whatever the road ahead contained didn't matter, because I was now on that road and there was no turning back.
During the long journey trust began to envelope worry. I had made informed decisions that put me on the path I was on and that the unknown is not something that should be automatically feared.
I wasn't Neil Armstrong, I was doing something that a lot of people do everyday.
When I arrived at the airport in Accra and I saw the sign that I had seen in so many pictures on the internet, I teared up a little. The sign says "Akwaaba" which means welcome in Twi. I had achieved a goal in spite of my own disbelief.
My last moments of doubt evaporated when my checked through bag finally came off the plane, the guy at customs sent a line cutter back to wave me in, and the hotel I booked had a driver waiting to pick me up, as promised.
Each moment after that was pure wonder. I look back and laugh at my pointless anxiety. I knew what I was doing, but I didn't fully trust myself. Someday I'll figure it out.
www.goyestoeverything.com
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