New BP press release.

Hi folks, I've come here today to clarify a few misconceptions that some of the regular folk that I hang out with seem to have about this little leak in the ocean.

Don't you worry, we are going to fix that little leak.

I want you to think about how small that hole is and how big that ocean is?

Now don't you feel silly for getting all excited? I know I do.

As for you shareholders out there, just remember that your investments are really little more than tantamount permission to evil bastards like ourselves to destroy the planet and oppress others.

Don't worry, we'll drag this out in the courts for years. Sure, an untolled amount of wildlife is dying and people are losing their way of life, but the real victims here are the shareholders. We recognize a bond, whereby you give us your retirement money so we may go do evil things while providing you with a cut of the action and a guilt free experience at the same time.

Certainly, this is a little drilling glitch, but what we have here is failure to communicate. So we at BP have released the following video in an effort to better convey the truth about what is really going on down there, by golly.

We at BP feel the pain that our shareholders are going through.

It is our solemn hope that the following film leads to a better understanding for all of us.

Not only is it morning in Louisiana and America, it is mourning around the globe.

Good night, and may God bless the free market.



http://www.goyestoeverything.com