Yeah, spare me the committee meeting

Disclaimer - . I work for a great person in a great place with great people and great customers. After almost thirty years in the hospitality industry, I consider myself lucky to be where I am.

A good friend is currently reading the book Waiter Rant. It is a bestseller based on a blog by Steve Dublanica. While I haven't spent much time at waiterrant.net (yet) , my literary friend imparted a story from the book about dealing with some of the worst of the worst, the most vile and childish that he would run across, telling them that their card had been fake declined in front his dining party. Truly brilliant.

When I heard that, an evil grinch like smile began to grow from my undersized heart. Truly diabolical and I doff my cap to his spirit of street justice. So in the spirit of a man who seems destined to escape the hospitality industry through blogging, I offer this post in homage and as an observation about the emerging distracted nature of humanity. Would you just make a decision already?

My Own Impatience


Seriously, I think it has something to do with the fierceness of my Scottish DNA. I have little patience with the inability of people to make a simple desicion. Do you want a drink or don't you? It is a seemingly simple question, but it invariably leads to a committee meeting.

The Committeee Meeting


OK, you flagged me down. Fine, no problem, but I'm a tad busy. "What can I get for you?". Hmm, what do you want, what do I want, what should we have? Are you having another one,do you have half pints do you have pitchers? Call me after the committee meets.

One Drink At A time, Sweet Jesus

I'm fine now, but I'm going to want another drink in twenty eight seconds. I'm not going to tell you now. After all, its not like you have anything to do other than to  cater to my needs. By the way, I'll take my bill with that last drink, pay it, and open another tab thiry four seconds after I've paid.

Last Call, Folks


Yeah, I know you're special and that you know the owner. You know what (he said with hands clasped on cheeks) I do tooooo! That is sooooo unbelievable! But seriously, its last call and I don't need to see all your collective hamsters jump on your collective treadmills. You have ten seconds to decide. Do you want a freaking drink or not? Of course, after you make this decision, you're going to want another drink precisely four seconds prior to legal last call at which point I'll open up yet another tab for you. And the other ten people playing the exact same game that you are.

 Sure, no problem, he said with gritted teeth.

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