Iromyman Strikes Again!

I used to follow politics with a passion, but now I just follow with a resigned amusement.

A long time ago I accepted the fact I am better off focusing on something more important than what the government of the day is doing.

Lets face it, politics just makes most people angry. It is a rare day indeed that I hear someone say "wow, the government is awesome, and they just did a great thing".

But I tend to disagree, government actually does do a lot of things right every day. We just don't hear about it.

Despite my disgust with the process, I still allow myself to be amused.

It appears that Torontonians are about to elect Rob Ford as their representative. I am not the least bit surprised. I realised a long time ago that most people are stupid, I am just surprised that it took so long for the stupid to get organised. Then again......

The people of Calgary, Alberta just elected a new mayor

You know, that gun loving government hating bastion of land raping big oil interests.

And the dude they elected? An academic Muslim prof who lives with his mother.

Meanwhile, back in Toronto the electorate is poised to vote in a neocon whose rhetoric is more Calgary than Toronto.

Thank you, Ironyman.

I love it everytime you stop by.

http://www.goyestoeverything.com

Exhibit A, Your Honour

What can I say, Ive had enough, I don't give a good goddamn if this post ends up beimg introduced as evidence at my trial. I have a clean sheet, and lets face it, it is not like I live in Texas.

I am tired of being demoralised by these slings and arrows.

I don't care anymore, and when the police ask me how it is that a young patron in my bar became comatose as they point out the shattered glass patio table, when they inquire about the corpse in the alley who had his eyes gouged out by a corkscrew or the homeless guy who woke up on fire, I will tell them everything.

That motherfucker thought that smashing glass all over our patio was really funny.

The guy in the alley threatened to kick my head in, while showing the deepest disrespect for a female colleague.

And the homeless guy who woke up on fire is a petty criminal who is responsible for dozens, if not hundreds, of petty crimes in my neighbourhood.

I'm just saying, someone is gonna get it at some point in some way.

I am tired of taking the shit, it is time to dish some out.

Any takers?

http://www.goyestoeverything.com

Cranky Old Man

Hey, maybe it is just me. I am getting older. Perhaps I am a tad crankier than I used to be, but it seems to me that this world is getting exponentially dumber every second. Even the most basic ritual of human consumption has been perverted into some "me first" activity.

I was brought up in a family where I was taught that people shared food together. I'm not saying that it was foie gras and lobster every night, but if we were all home together, we ate together.

As kids, my brother and I had to beg my mom to let us have dinner in front of the television to watch the NHL playoffs. Permission was not always granted.

Dining was important in my family, and as I became a little older my parents would take me out to restaurants. Nice restaurants. It was implied that I would use my best manners, and I think for the most part I did.

Sharing food together was sacrosanct, something a family or community does together. You know, breaking bread?

I know that I work in a bar with no pretense to being a fine dining establishment, but manners should be universal regardless of environment.

And tonight was a perfect example of something that has been stuck in my craw for a long, long time.

A young couple walk in and sit in the back. Once they are settled, I head over. The lady excuses herself to go to the powder room before I can get her order. No biggie, I ask the dude if he wants a drink. He orders for himself and the young lady.

Thats cool.

Now make no mistake, this is a nice twenty something couple. They are both polite and they are exactly the kind of people that I enjoy serving, and I hope they come back.

But here is where my bile begins to flare. I ask if they want a menu and the gentleman asks for one for the lady and then proceeds to order food for himself. I hold the chit for a few minutes, but eventually am forced to submit it in the name of expediency.

A moment later the lady decides to order.

Their food comes up at different times, and neither one cares. And I see this all the time.

I don't know if they were a couple, they may have been brother and sister.But I do know that
when I went out with anybody in any size group we ordered and ate together. To do otherwise was considered rude. I guess people don't dine together, the just have to get their "Eat On".

Eating is now reduced to a level of filling up your sport ute with gas. For the masses in North America, food is nothing but fuel, and that is a very sad fact.

I deeply worry about a society that doesen't care to dine with one another.

Are we so caught up in our own needs that we cannot wait four minutes for our friend to decide, so that we may share this bounty that sustains us together?

What the fuck is wrong with you people?

Sharing food together is a sacred ritual that transcends humanity.

Sigh.

Maybe I am a cranky old man.

http://www.goyestoeverything.com

Nicole

Sometimes the only choice is to throw a dart at the moon. When there is nothing left but hope, we have no choice but to hope.

For me the big part of a journey is researching the country. Lately I have been reading a lot about Syria, and by all accounts (almost) Syria is a safe place. Resoundingly, those who have been there, praise the hospitality of the Syrian people en masse.

I remember Nicole. She was featured on The National and on media throughout the country. She went missing in 2007. In Hama, Syria.

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2007/05/23/nicole-search.html

Sadly, this story is over three years old. The family of Nicole have exhausted everything in their search.

Matt has a blog here Please disregard the comments.

This site offers a clinical approach.

Matt was kind enough to reply to my email, and he gave me some good advice. I cannot imagine the pain of his family.

The truth is that this blog post has a better chance of finding a lead than my trip does. So if you know someone in Syria who knows some one who knows a guy who knows some one could you please ask about Nicole?

Nonetheless, I will be in Hama and my eyes and ears will be open.

Not only is Nicole a fellow Canadian, she is also a fellow traveler.

And sometimes the only play you have is to throw a dart at the moon.

Please forward this in the hope that someone who knows something may see it and to help keep the search for Nicole alive.

http://www.goyestoeverything.com

Giving Thanks

Sometimes we have a moment of crisis that serves to illuminate to ourselves how much we love each other and how fragile our presence on this planet is.

Many of our fellow humans have moved on from this mortal coil for the most trivial of reasons.

Wrong place, wrong time.

I visited the World Trade Center, I cruised on The Queen of The North, and I took this bus trip in Ghana, and nothing ever happened to me.

And so it was tonight at work. A few minutes earlier it could have been me. A few minutes later it could have been a dear friend. But it wasn't, and no one was hurt. Just like The World Trade Center, The Queen of The North and that bus ride in Ghana.

Canadian Thanksgiving is my favourite holiday. It embodies the nobility of Christmas without the mindless consumption, or the marketed guilt of mindless giving.

With each passing year I find more and more reasons to be grateful, but this year is especially poignant. I am thankful that no one else was sitting in the office on Saturday night when the meth head broke in with his crowbar; as for myself I feel a little shortchanged.

Call me sick, but it would have made for a great funeral. I could have died as a perfect victim, an unimpeachable martyr, some noble working class hero that might have had his pre crushed in skull displayed on the front page of the Toronto Sun.

If only I had gone for that smoke five minutes later.

I'm telling you, I cannot catch a break.

Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving, or whatever, I guess.

http://www.goyestoeverything.com

Didn't anybody see?

Just one last word on why I quit Facebook. I'll let the music do my talking, and then I am going to shut up about Facebook forever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFddsWq2pDw&p=ADA9DBA42055D742&playnext=1&index=45

The Corporati

My first "real" post KFC restaurant gig was bussing tables during lunches at a trendy Vancouver eatery in the very very early 1980's. The restaurant was in the heart of the business district, so our clientele tended to the corporate.

I even cleared the plate of a sitting Prime Minister on the campaign trail.

Back in those days, the culture was more "Mad Men" than the antisocial deadeyed vortex of expensive bleakness that could all disappear in the blink of a stock decline. The expense account was king, the writeoffs numerous and unquestioned and things were only going to get better and better.

There was no global warming, terrorism was a car bomb going off in some place you'd never heard of, and stopping pollution meant throwing your garbage in the bin.

In the late 90's I found myself in Toronto, again serving lunches to those who had put all their eggs in the corporate basket. Gone were the expense accounts for the average, and their seemed to be a lot of talk about "groups" and "teams".

Gone were the easy pensions, the free golf club memberships, and the generous mileage allowances. Mostly it was replaced by the desperate eyes of people who knew that their fake little house of cards could disappear in a blink.

And all these years later, nothing has changed, though it is just more blatant. And accepted. Your corporate master exists only to please shareholders and provide outrageous rewards to the elites within for pleasing the shareholders.

Sadly, every loser with a cubicle and a nametag thinks that they can be Conrad Black, but I'm telling you, "it ain't necessarily so".

Tonight we had a crew from some brainwashing seminar come in, the tail end of some pathetic attempt to rally Nuremburg that ends with a lost key to an Econolodge room. When I see groups like this I think we should stock Kool Aid. Then I laugh to my self, realising that they gulped it down long ago.

Retirement? Stocks? Golf Club memberships? Not my scene.

Yeah, I may not have much in this world, I may be angry, and I may be fucked up, but I am going to live my life now.

Yes, I may drop dead when I'm sixty five (probably a best case scenario), but as you see the garbage truck lift my lifeless body in some Orwellian recycle bin that will crush me down to Soylent Green pull away into the distance I would hope that you would think to yourself " well, at least he lived his life a bit".

And I would hope to be able to say the same about you.

I would also hope that you would secretly wish that you could taste a little bit of me after I was turned into Soylent Green, but that is a whole 'nother post.

OK, now I am freaking myself out.

http://www.goyestoeverything.com

Ride -Zilla

Planning a trip is sort of like arranging a wedding. Buying a ticket is like popping the question, except when you buy a ticket, the answer is always yes.

After you buy that ticket, the roller coaster ride begins.

If you book a tour, it is like hiring a wedding planner. All you have to do is show up in your finest frock at the appointed time and let the carriage take you away.

Or you can just figure it out by yourself, which is more like eloping. Unlike a real life marriage ceremony, eloping is more expensive. Detailed planning may increase the cost of a wedding, but it decreases the cost of travel.

The best trip is planned by the Ying and executed by the Yang. Know where you are going, what you're doing, and how to get there; and be prepared to change everything at the last minute.

But just like a wedding, the devil is in the details. Planning a solo trip to places unfamiliar can be at once inspiring, daunting and frightening.

At the bottom end of the spectrum one can feel small, demoralized and defeated. And did I mention, frightened?

What if this happens? What if that happens? Why am I doing this? Each question is a natural extension of a common human fear.

Fear of the unknown.

At the top end of the spectrum I envision sitting alone among transcendent ruins that are the genesis of our humanity as the sun sets over an empty Syrian desert. I imagine the bustle of great markets, and hear the call to the mosque.

And I also laugh at the great irony of a quiet non believer like myself going to some of the most holy and timeless places on the planet. Places where faith began.

People have faith in all sorts of things. I put my faith in people, and I travel to prove that my faith is well placed. So far, humanity has a perfect track record.

And yet again, I find myself on bended knee, asking Syria if she will accept my hand. I'll let you know her answer in a few months, but to be honest, I also plan to see Turkey and Lebanon on the side.

My planned route map can be found here.

Godspeed.

http://www.goyestoeverything.com

The Problem With Populist Politics

This quote made me think about the Toronto mayoral race and the recent quote disparaging "Toronto Elites" by cabinet minister John Baird.

"What is so unnerving about the candidacy of Sarah Palin is the degree to which she represents—and her supporters celebrate—the joyful marriage of confidence and ignorance . . . Ask yourself: how has "elitism" become a bad word in American politics? There is simply no other walk of life in which extraordinary talent and rigorous training are denigrated. We want elite pilots to fly our planes, elite troops to undertake our most critical missions, elite athletes to represent us in competition and elite scientists to devote the most productive years of their lives to curing our diseases. And yet, when it comes time to vest people with even greater responsibilities, we consider it a virtue to shun any and all standards of excellence. When it comes to choosing the people whose thoughts and actions will decide the fates of millions, then we suddenly want someone just like us, someone fit to have a beer with, someone down-to-earth—in fact, almost anyone, provided that he or she doesn't seem too intelligent or well educated."

— Sam Harris

If you care to read more quotes from the compelling Mr. Harris, click here.

Or you can watch this.



http://www.goyestoeverything.com

F**K "The Homeless"

I live deep in the heart of an urban environment and I have lived in this neighbourhood for two decades. When I first moved to this street in the late 1980's, there was nary a panhandler in sight, nobody was sleeping on the street, and I could walk the streets unfettered.

These days not so much. We have become inundated with people who imply that they are homeless by begging on the street. On my street. By my own unscientific estimation, about 90% of the people in Toronto who panhandle are not homeless.

God bless us, we do have good hearts and most of us have deep compassion for one another. However, we have made a grave error in assuming that every person begging on the streets is in dire need of immediate help. In Toronto, it is patently untrue and I am sure the same is true throughout North America and Europe.

I am not against giving people money, but the majority of the money that I give goes to individuals and organisations that use my small contributions to help improve lives. When did our collective liberal bullshit coalesce to a point where we give some non homeless crack addict in front of a liquor store that is already getting free housing and a free pass every month our change?

Make no mistake, I am a proud Canadian, and I am proud to contribute to our welfare system. In dark moments in my own life, I have availed myself of the system, and I support the idea that our privileged society helps those in short term need, the truly troubled among us, and that all children of single parents should be aggressively supported. It is cheaper to educate someone than it is to imprison them.

Begging is not exclusive to Canada. I have seen it in Asia and Africa. The thing is that the people who panhandled me during my travels on those continents tended to be amputees. And elderly. No medical system, no welfare system. Truly, these poor souls were on their own, with no other option.

I walked by parents scrounging through garbage bags as their toddler children slept in a nearby doorway. They didn't ask me for money.

One night in Cambodia a girl of not more than six asked me for money using an empty baby bottle as a prop in one hand. In her other arm was an infant child.

It is an image among many that I will never forget. Sure I gave a little bit of money. Yes, I was being played, but just because I was being played does not mean that the need was not genuine. Take a moment to understand the level of human indignity, the depth of need that could cause a parent to send their children into the street begging for money. And the cultural shame that goes with begging in most of the world.

For some reason, the culture in which I live does not heap shame on begging.

Actually, I know the reason. Begging has become big business. A lot of very cushy jobs in government and the "charity" industry depend upon creating the illusion that begging is a result of some economic crisis.

The truth is rampant begging in urban streets is a result of shortsighted bleeding hearts trying to reconcile the fact that deep down in their hearts, they know that a lot of what we have is the result of destroying the lives of others and denying the same opportunity to others. The sad thing is that a bunch of con artists have moved in to fill the void.

Even sadder is the fact that people equate giving the crackhead a looney with helping the world.

Then again, I suppose it is easier than actually doing anything.

Everyday in Toronto, I am panhandled by able bodied adults. Not once did I encounter this phenomena in Asia and Africa.

As a Canadian, I am embarrassed by this state of affairs.

I guess some societies take pride in themselves and prize dignity above all.

And some don't.

http://www.goyestoeverything.com

Wow, We Really Are Truly Powerless

What the fuck is wrong with people? Have we so disempowered ourselves and relinquished control of our lives to others that we are incapable of dealing with the most basic of problems without calling our Mommy and or Daddy to bail us out?

To wit, I submit my experience last Sunday.

Now, I will be the first to admit that I keep weird hours, but I woke up so late last Sunday that I weirded myself out. When I saw the time, I let out a gasp. Nonetheless, duty called, and one must deal with the ramifications of one's own debauchery..

So I get up, throw the coffee on and jump towards the shower. I throw on the hot water and wait for the warmth. And wait. And wait. And wait.

It never comes, and I stand there like a naked Charlie Brown waiting for Lucy to bring the football back. Perfect. I grit my teeth and stand in a shower that is cold enough to make Costanza and his swim in the pool seem like a hot tub.

Luckily enough for me, I'm not getting any so it doesn't really matter.

However, I am pretty addicted to ready access to hot water, so while I am prepared to deal with this problem in the "short" term, the "long" term prospects are frightening.

I live above a bar, and I know the hot water is in the basement, but I am dealing with major shrinkage, sucking back coffee and launching a failed attempt to show up at work trying to look like a well adjusted human being. I pride myself on being objective and I know that all hope of maintaining my self created illusions are slipping away.

So I head downstairs to the busy bar, shrunken schlong in tow. I ask them to check the breakers, mention that I'm off to work, and there is no rush. The bar is busy, and the prospect of my living in a future state of permanent shrinkage is not a high priority. I can respect that.

So it comes as little surprise that nothing has been done when I return from my shift. However, my downstairs neighbours are nice people, and they let me down to their basement to look at the breakers.

And Jiminy Crickets, ya know what, one of those breakers had flipped over! Gollllleeeee that seems to be a huge problem for some people. Say what you will about Redneck Cleetus and his toothless existence, he at least would have known to flip the breaker.

I thank God I remember that "One of these things is not like the other" thing from Sesame Street. I flip the switch over, the water warms up.

But your average useless Torontonian cries help at the first sign of adversity. Which is why my landlord called the next morning about this "emergency". Apparently my neighbours first reaction was to call my landlord. My first reaction was to try and fix the problem, or at least find out why there was a problem.

I like my landlords. They are actually very nice people, but the panic button should never be the first choice. The next thing I know I get an email requesting detailed information about what I did.

Apparently Hydro workers are now involved, and they are claiming that they fixed the problem.

I'm no handyman, and I don't claim to be one, but I am capable of at least looking into a problem without requiring permission to do so. And yes, when I see a row of circuit breaker switches all leaning to the left, but for one, I think I know whats going on.

But no, my neighbours have to email my landlord in a panic and my landlord must call in an electrician.

ITS A FUCKING CIRCUIT BREAKER.

Helplessness is one thing, uselessness is quite another.

Even I know that.

http://www.goyestoeverything.com

Sacred Cows

It is to laugh.

Over the last few days I have received more email about a Facebook post that I didn't even post on Facebook than any other post.

I guess people don't like it when you ridicule their sacred cows, but I stand behind my point. Most people on Facebook are there to glorify themselves. Too many cooks, not enough dishwashers. Everyone talking, nobody listening.

- The level of content has a reductionist quality that quietly reduces our humanity to the point that we are all little more than digital "its", our communication limited by the falsely imposed constraints. If Facebook is the beginning, then the final vision is even dumber. And that is a level of dumbness that I cannot conceive. Then again, maybe I'm stupid.

- Facebook is like being at a bad cocktail party where a bunch of people who never drink think that everything they exclaim is a profound revelation as they guzzle their third cosmo from the open bar, with nary a complete sentence in sight.

- 500,000,000 users my ass. Two thirds are fake, or is this your first time on the internet?

- These people are not your "Friends". Friends are precious things, acquired through time and experience and sharing. Facebook warps perception, whereby some are unable to distinguish between their real friends and the disposable Facebook type.

- Many people are on Facebook because they want something from you. And you are on Facebook because you want something from them. Money. Power. Approval. And don't give me that garbage about how great Facebook is for "communication". Email and blogging are better tools for communication. People use Facebook not to communicate, but to broadcast their communications. Communicating via Facebook is like trying to write a novel while skydiving. Facebook yields the level of discourse to the vacuousness of the clever. Concepts need not apply.

- The people that run this shit want something from you. Nice people like Mr. Zuckerberg do not provide services like Facebook for free because they care deeply. They want your information, and I don't care what your privacy settings are, they are taking it. You might want to read the privacy agreement that comes with your Facebook account.

- Google is now scanning Facebook. What this means is that once Google has your shit, it is there forever. This is common across the internet, the real change is the fact that Facebook exponentially increases the likelihood that someone else can post things about you that can be searched by Google. Tagged in a photo? Mentioned in a post? Unless you catch it quickly, it is up there permanently.

Think about it. How many of your "friends" have you spoken to on the phone? How many of your "friends" did you give a birthday gift to? What on earth are you trying to do?

Make no mistake, I'm not done with crapping on Facebook, but I'm aware that nothing will change until the next generation decides that Facebook is no longer cool. Until that happens I will be stomping on your sacred cow and ridiculing your participation in the worlds biggest cult until you figure out that you are being played.

So played.

http://www.goyestoeverything.com