Thursday, July 15, 2010

Watching Helplessly

Nicks_1256Image by Dain Sandoval via Flickr
As I quaff a pint in the relatively empty Bar X, a storm of morons stampede in. They are young, stupid, and have no future whatsoever. If only Mom had eaten more protein while pregnant, things might be different. Immediately the jukebox begins blaring hip hop laced with racial epithets

I look at their carefully skewed trucker hats, their well placed piercings, and dangerous tattoos and I see obedience disguised as rebellion. The room fills with an air of  testoserone that is about to explode on a wave of cheap draft.

The bartender asks me to keep an eye on things while she goes to the washroom. Lets just say that I have darkened this door more than once, and the bartender has never asked me to do this. In relative terms, it felt like closing the casino after the Tyson fight.

I suspected it, but she knew.

And so it was that a fight began to break out among these "friends". It ended up with the dude in the Argentina jersey out cold on the floor. At the height of it I actually got off my bar stool, it was that serious. A brief thought flashed through my mind that I should try and help the owner/bartender stop this.

Then I looked at her, she was having none of it. Then I looked at the combatants and realised that each and every one of them could kick my ass. It felt like a mini G20, I witnessed, but did not participate.

However, I was pretty happy to see Argentina breathing, even if he wasn't moving. And a little part of me was grateful that it didn't happen in the bar that I work in on my watch.

Eventually, Argentina was escorted out with assistance from his friends. He was shirtless, his blood soaked jersey abandoned in the bathroom trash. I was glad to see he wasn't dead, but I didn't feel too bad for him.

He started it.

I just feel bad for the bartender, because sometimes things can spiral out of control, and there is nothing you can do but watch helplessly, despite your best efforts.

I also get especially worried when people walk in wearing motorcycle helmets and boxing gloves or, rather, I would if it ever happened.

Are you taking notes, 180? Apparently it is all about the head butt and something called "StraightBlasting".




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